Blue 24 that’s my number.

Have you ever done one of those personality tests where you answer 30 or 40 questions and they tell you what your personality type is? You know the ones where the questions are all just about the same but worded a little different to throw you off.

I did one at work recently. Questions which are really statements like “I enjoy making detailed work plans.” or “I enjoy working as a team on projects”. Then you rate them strongly agree, agree, disagree, or strongly disagree. Ugh these kind stress me out like what if I am in between on an answer just go with your gut!

When receiving the results of the specific test we did, mine were Blue 24, Gold 17, Green 11, Orange 8. For reference the scale goes from Zero to 24. Yep that’s me all the way at the blue end. I am as blue as you can get with a giant gap to my next color down.

What does blue stand for…the emotional basketcase that is myself. Yep the one who gets her feelings hurt if she thinks someone doesn’t want to talk to her or misinterprets someones comments as a dislike for me! Guys it’s awful.

Basically the description of my particular personality is “You are the one who makes people feel good about getting things done.” Really??? That is what I am all about. How about being the leader that pushes people to the finish line or the internally motivated one that tries to get ahead of the game. Nope not me. My brain just wants everyone to be happy and feel good all the time.

I can’t help it!!!!!

That’s my teacher’s heart guys. As a teacher I spent much of my time praising students for getting things accomplished and understanding concepts in the classroom. I worried and cared for them as if they were my own children. It was great for the profession I had chosen.

Guess what? It’s not so great in a corporate world.

I mean it has it’s place. I am the one that can keep conversations going and the first to congratulate others on a job well done. What it doesn’t do is help me push forward in my current job. Don’t get me wrong, I still work hard and try to improve my work daily. I just have a really hard time putting work/business separate from feelings and emotions. With a personality like mine, constructive criticism becomes an attack on me personally.

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A co-worker that doesn’t like the way I put something together in a project or document suddenly in my mind they don’t like me or they think I can’t do a good job. Most of the time, I have done a great job but my emotions control every thing I do.

And just to be sure that one personality test didn’t define me, I did another. This one was more in depth and used many different categories. My top 5 categories were Includer, Empathy, Developer, Learner, and Harmony. Big surprise right? Not me. It just solidified what I already know. I am driven through life by how things make me feel and how those around me feel. Often times putting others needs in front of my own as it makes me feel better to know they are happy.

Having a “teachers” heart is great until you aren’t a teacher anymore. It’s a learning curve, it’s a process, and I am constantly working to improve it. I won’t ever change though. I will still be me, and my emotions will still be at the forefront of what I do. It allows me to see the world differently than many others do.

And guess what I love that about myself!